Things Change

I had been planning an exciting post for a few weeks now but then something unexpected happened and now I'm posting about the crappy day that changed that exciting post.

What was so exciting you may ask?

I was 15 1/2 weeks Pregnant! Due May 3rd, 2011.

I had a miscarriage on Sunday, November 14th at 7:30 am.

This is now my 3rd miscarriage in the past 6 years. I have learned to lean on my Heavenly Father in these sad times and find peace in knowing the plan of salvation and the comforting feeling that, I have, that one day I will get to raise those 3 little ones.

This time around was different though, have you ever heard of Vasovagal Syncope?

At about 8:30 am I experienced this and never want to feel it ever again. It all started when I sat down and started feeling hot and light headed and like I was going to puke (which I did). And in a matter of seconds I had the most awful feeling, like something was even more wrong, like some impending doom was coming, and then my vision went very fuzzy, and everything was in greyscale . All I could say was "I don't know what to do?" "I don't know what to do?"

over and over again. And my hearing was like tunnel hearing, very distant. At this point my loving Heavenly Father stepped in and through the Holy Ghost I seen and heard the word "Blessing". I said the word out loud once and then said "I need a blessing now!" Kirk was right there and gave me one. All the symptoms were still there but the impending doom seemed to lessen but I was non responsive to Kirk, although I could see and hear him and did understand what was going on, I just couldn't react.

He was pretty freaked out and yelled for LL to bring him a cell phone and he called 911. In about 10 mins they were by my side. I was now laying on the bathroom floor and they were trying to put in an IV (3 attempts and they couldn't get one in because my vanes kept collapsing) as they were asking questions and taking my vitals. All the vasovagal symptoms were gone but I was weak.

I was ambulanced to the RG Hospital where the ER nurse tried twice (which is the magic number, if you can't get blood or an IV in with 2 tries someone else is called into try) to get an IV in and couldn't and had to call another nurse in, who was able to get one in on her first try. Then lab came and took some blood. I was feeling ok by then just freezing, so nice hot blankets were laid on me (I think they went through 20 hot blankets on me through out the rest of the day/evening).

The Dr on was sending me to LRH to have a ultra sound but the OBGYN there wanted me to first try this medicine to help my uterus contract and hopefully get rid of the rest of the contents left. But the RGH Dr was leery of just giving it to me without some pain meds so was going to give me Morphine. Well this freaked me out even more, I was already having contractions, seriously not just cramping but labor contractions and as I had never had Morphine before I was stressed I might be sick to my stomach too. I started saying how I didn't want any of that and then the vasovagal set in again and I was back where I never wanted to be.

The ER nurse was taking my vitals and I heard her say "69 over 47", and I seen her worried look and I thought what is going on? She kept touching my head with a cold cloth and saying "stay with me, stay with me". I guess I looked bad but in my head I thought "I am here, I'm looking right at you!" Mean while the nurse that got the IV in was able to put in another,but in my other arm.

And that was that, the ambulance was called to get ready to take me to the LRH ER. We had 10 minutes to which Kirk called his dad to come and give me another blessing, but this time with consecrated oil, before I was transferred.

From this point on everything went better. The OBGYN came in an spoke with me and told me about vasovagal and explained that the meds she wanted me to take back in RGH, would not have given me more pain (why the other Dr didn't know this is beyond me) and gave me 2 options, to stay in the hospital until everything had passed (with meds) or have a D&C ( Which I found out was a surgery and that I would have to be put under. I had never been put under before so I was a little concerned). But I still chose the latter. I wanted to get it over and done with. By this time it was 1 pm ish.

At 2 pm I was taken to the room, where I would wait until they were ready for me in the OR, which was located in the maternity ward. I do have to say, with some one who has just miscarried, this might not be the best place for them, baby posters on the wall and the distant crying of new born babies is the last thing what you want to see and hear. I was okay though, I just thought, I want to get home and hold and snuggle my 4 "babies".

By 2:45 ish I was on my way to the OR and was in by 3 ish. I have to say being put under was pretty nice. I woke up and felt like that was the best sleep I had ever had even if it was only for an hour or so. I was finally taken back to my room just before 5 pm where Kirk was waiting for me. He was pretty worried. We've never doubted our love for each other but I have to say it grew even more for the both of us that day.

We finally were able to head home at 6 pm and I got my snuggle time with my babies!

I feel blessed to have 4 healthy, happy kids in my life and of coarse a husband who loves me so much. Miscarrying is sad but I have been able to look at the positive or at least can see the many blessings I already have. I am so thankful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and the plan of salvation. I have amazing family and friends who love and support me and are willing to lend a hand or bring a meal or give a hug. I had wonderful nurses and doctors through it all! I know I am truly blessed!

My "babies"

taken November 13th, 2010